Starting as we mean to carry on?...

Regular readers know that I have had huge issues with new year in the past, but I am pleased to report that just as Christmas exceeded all our best expectations, so did new year!

We didn't "do" anything - Roarke had another chest infection and I wasn't up to taking Jonathan with us to any party and risking such a disturbed night that one gets when you muck around with a toddler's routine. However, the whole thing passed without my usual internet emotional turmoil which has made a huge difference to my starting outlook for the year.

One thing hasn't changed though - we still seem too busy!

Of course the big thing that WAS looming for us was the EO EGM which as well as all the work Roarke and I were putting into it behind the scenes as trustees, meant two days away from home.

The boys totally understood and supported the fact that they were being dragged around and that the time wasn't about them, and so it would mean that they were to spend most of the two days sitting in a car or sitting around listening to us adult yabbering on. I was so proud of them, and so touched by their support. Samuel said "look mum if you don't do these things then we can't be home educated, so we do understand". What a star!

As it was, on balance, they were ok because the venue for the actual EGM was a brilliant adventure playground kind of place so once we were there, they had a great time. They also enjoyed meeting other home ed kids and Josh in particular enjoyed meeting other teens which he doesn't get to do that often down here.

The most negative thing about the time away was that we all had gluten both days running. Poor Samuel has really suffered this time and is himself now deciding that he doesn't want to get "treated" to Mcdonalds or Kentucky etc in the future as he realises actually it is no treat to end up feeling this way :0( Better planning on our part could have minimised it but then that is just the way that it goes sometimes.

We are all making a huge effort to allow him to get it out of his system without holding him accountable for his behaviour at the moment.

Rather interestingly/worryingly William seems to have been actually physically unwell from eating the gluten so we are going to look for a coeliac test for him.

Wednesday I went to the paediatrician with Jonathan. They have agreed to run another round of allergy test for him, and include a coeliac screen. This means giving him gluten again for a while. We started on one slice of bread a day - I've still had to make my own as all the shop bought bread has soya in it which he still seems to really react to. So far there hasn't been any tummy reaction from him, but we are keeping an eye on it.

Friday was a weird day. My best friend at college doesn't live in this area anymore however her father died just before Christmas and the funeral was here in Orpington. As she had no where for mourners to come back to afterwards, we offered our house.

This wouldn't be so weird (as I knew her Dad well in those days) other than the fact that we haven't seen each other or spoken to each other in nearly 11 years. We were both still firmly in touch with a mutual friend (also from those days) but not in contact with each other. However when I heard about her Dad, and her dilema, it was an easy decision to make.

Real friendships are like that, aren't they?

The totally odd thing was at the funeral, where I met up with her (best friends from the age of 16 till 21), another close friend from those days (who I'd known from the age of 12), an ex boyfriend from those days, plus our mutual friend. We'd all been college, or hippy, or biker, or war gaming friends 15+ years ago.

The last time we'd all been together in one place was at my wedding 15 years ago!

On the one hand therefore we all felt happy to be together, but of course on the other hand very sad as we'd all known and loved her Dad.

After the service everyone came back here, some 25 or more mourners. She'd supplied two saucepans of soup (something her Dad was known for) and we'd made two more. Nearly all of it went, it was that cold a day!

I really found my head jumbled by the mixture of emotions from the day.

Today we've been looking at fitness dvds.... I *want* to follow one, I *want* to be able to bounce around, dance, get fit.... but I feel such a darn plonker doing it, even in the privacy of my own home with no one watching! Roarke is ok. Because he used to be a fitness/dance teacher in his 20s, before he first got ill and went on steroids, he has a lovely lean THIN guy inside of him. He is also very limber, and can still do the splits all the way to the ground despite the current size of him! I never COULD do the splits!

So, he doesn't feel self conscious doing it, he can do it all with ease despite his size, whereas I flounder around like a walrus....

I keep asking myself if I really want to be fit.....