Saturday, March 24, 2007

Garden chores

Up at 6.10am to be able to take Roarke to the station, as the car too unreliable to take to Oxford. As I was up, I decided to get on with putting some washing on, and getting a gf loaf in the machine.

The boys helped out in the garden first thing. Samuel and William were tearing up newspapers and soaking them, ready to go on the compost heap. This kept them occupied for a surprising amount of time!

I find being in the garden quite painful - especially as it is in its "yellow" stage at the moment, with enough daffodils to do a park proud. However, all I can remember is picking the daffodils each day to take into Dad's hospital room, so that he wouldn't miss out on seeing his lovely flowers in bloom :0(

I've always loved gardening, and this truly is a beautiful garden. But gardening was something that Dad and I shared (one of the many things) and I'm still finding that, instead of being able to feel closer to him, or delight in the beauty that he helped compose, instead it just distresses me. Nearly a year now, and still the memories only bring pain, no smiles. I'm so grateful for the way that Samuel can talk about his Grandad and laugh at the happy memories, and Joshua and William can too, to a lesser extent.

But for me, sadly, its still only pain - I still can't look at any photos of him :0(

Anyway, back to the learning. Joshua planted out the three potatoes that we got from the potatoes for schools deal.

Samuel then helped his Nan to plant our potatoes for our first, early crop, and turned over the soil again ready for all our salad crops later on. The robin, who always sat and watched Dad working, came along, and so Samuel named him Billy Robin, and tried to dig up as many worms as he could for him to eat.

I made some more of the glutafin apple cake, then popped out to collect some stuff from Freecyle; haven't had a chance to go through it yet, but there were colouring books, flash cards, workbooks, stencils and art/craft bits and pieces. Plus about a hundred unused coca cola large cups... yeah I know! Any ideas for great craft projects using disposable cola cups?!

In the afternoon, I rested on the sofa (yes, all without anyone making me!) which gives you some idea how tired and yukky I felt. Jonathan has dropped down a bit in his position which has meant less indigestion today but more painful BHs. Both Samuel and William engaged at 7 months - and I mean FULLY engaged! Wonder if this will be the same?

The boys had fish fingers and chips for dinner (home made chips, sainsbury's gf fish fingers), but I waited until Roarke got back to eat with him, collecting him from the station at 7. He needs to go by train again tomorrow which, due to some engineering and a bus journey, will mean going out almost as early :0(

So church on my own again tomorrow.

Oh, saw this today off of one of the HE lists, and decided to do it - what kind of poetry are you? I found it interesting, as the one that it says I am "most like" is actually the style of poetry that I write!

I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile.
Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away
I let mine out, and chatter all the while.

I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day
Is any day that's spent without a friend,
With nothing much to do or hear or say.

I like to be with people, and depend
On company for being entertained;
Which seems a good solution, in the end.
What Poetry Form Are You?


Carlotta said...

I too find this a difficult time of year emotionally, for similar reasons. I always have TS Eliot's "April is the cruellest month" running like an ear-worm whenever I see daffodils.

Makes me feel less strange reading that you experience something similar, but am so sorry that this is such a poignant time for you too.

Emma said...

Hugs for you as it's clearly a very difficult time for you. I must say though that you have a stunning garden and I hope that in time you will be able to find it something that brings you closer to your Dad.
Glad you managed to get some rest!

Anonymous said...

apparently I'm a tanka or a triolet. When I read them they didn't quite seem to capture me, so either I've changed drastically along the way, or I wasn't being quite true to myself in my answers.
Our awful time is new year. By the time spring comes along we're beginning to look with fresh eyes at the world.